Do you like to think you’re one of the good guys (used in a generic sense)? I do. I must admit over the last 15 years or so, in particular, I’ve often gone out of my way to try and prove I am. In hindsight far too much. Although perhaps I’m not that person? And even if I think I am, I’ve now concluded it’s a bit of a forlorn task anyway as no matter how much you try, there are always going to be people who take against you for whatever reason.
This came to a head this week when I had to take action against someone who has caused me a lot of grief for a period of time. For obvious reasons I can’t go into the details of the situation, but the circumstances were made even more difficult last weekend and subsequently when, after some provocation, I didn’t behave in a way that I am particularly proud of.
Sometimes when you bend over backwards in life to help people, you can only give so much to anything and anyone and trigger points are reached. I know two of my triggers are laziness and dishonesty. We all have to think about our own mental health and wellbeing in order to function in society, but understanding those trigger points is critical to managing our own behaviours.
We all have our own value systems which drive our way of living, and these values sometimes change, but sometimes conflict isn’t just about our values but the way we communicate with one another. Our brains don’t all work the same way, and there are cultural and generational differences behind the different forms of communication setting aside of course the familiarity with the language itself. I’m ashamed to say my knowledge of other languages is very poor!
Because we can never know exactly what is going on in another person’s head, we substitute that sometimes with assumptions and, if you’re meeting them in person or on screen, by body language and other signs. We can never know what that person has experienced throughout their life, even those closest to us, and the factors which make up their persona and their way of being with us and the rest of the world.
Maybe because of that and because we’re getting towards the end of 2024 (and also the end of my weekly blogs challenge) I’m starting to reflect, like many of us do at this time, on what has been achieved over the last year and what I’ve learned – including about myself.
The WCA usually has its AGM about this time of the year – next Tuesday 26 November in fact – which is also a time for reflecting and planning. We normally try to add something to spice things up a bit and get people along. This year we’ve added a ‘Pub Quiz’ which has kindly been organised by Mick Dore from the Alexandra (next to the library) and some free refreshments.
We’re trying to gauge numbers in advance so it’s better for us if you book early. Do check out details and respond here although we will take drop ins on the night, within reason! It’s back at Merton Arts Space from 7pm and open to non-members as well.
I try to keep the business side of things pretty tight – within half an hour or so – but the AGM is also an opportunity to engage with you and think about how we can do things differently – and better. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I am taking a step back for a while next year to focus on some domestic matters and to hopefully do some travelling and writing so we will discuss our interim arrangements as well and how you might want to get more involved too!
I’ve met some inspiring people this year and others who’ve had challenging behaviour. I’m not perfect but along with my colleagues I am proud of our efforts to serve you this last 12 months.