One of the things that I’ve learnt that I have to manage after years of volunteering is handling resentment. It’s something that’s been brought up by my counsellor in recent sessions. There gets a point in many unpaid roles where ‘volunteer fatigue’ or ‘burnout’ can start to kick in and the lack of recognition for the number of hours one puts in for nothing. Whatever our original motivation for getting involved in any charity or cause, that feeling of being unsupported, can start to build up over time, particularly if there isn’t a perceived backing for that wider goal.
Sometimes that greater goal is clear to everyone. The obvious example is the huge number of volunteer hours that many supporters of AFC Wimbledon have put into the club. In that case it was driven by a desire to correct a clear misjudgement by the football authorities to allow the move to Milton Keynes in 2002. As an aside many fans, like me, will have consequently enjoyed Saturday’s 3-0 win against the team from Buckinghamshire as much as the 1-0 victory in March.
But even with that, there is a need for individuals to take a step back from volunteer roles every now and again. Whilst driven by a sense of joint enterprise, we all have our own trigger points. I served as the Dons Trust Secretary from June 2012 to December 2015 and then returned to help lead the Trust Board elections process for three years from 2020 to 2022. Each time a moment came when I needed to take a break. But fortunately, with the huge depth of commitment and talent at the club, replacements did come forward to takeover and help pursue that wider goal.
Sometimes recognising those trigger points isn’t so obvious and it can have serious, much more damaging personal consequences if appropriate action isn’t taken. In 2012, when I set up my own social housing consultancy, I went part time and devoted many of my spare hours to this charity, alongside roles at the Dons Trust, Fayre and Square and a multitude of other voluntary and family commitments as well as supporting my wife’s various projects including with the Liberal Democrats and South Park Gardens amongst others. I scaled back my paid work to zero but now with my domestic circumstances changing, that may not have been a wise decision.
For obvious reasons I can’t go into detail here but suffice to say that others might not have been as naïve as me in the way I allowed things to happen. However, the bottom line is they did and managing the fallout is now a challenge. One of the reasons I relate these personal stories is so others might recognise if they’re giving too much! We all need something in return, and when it’s not financial, somehow that needs to be articulated and captured. Otherwise, the sense of being exploited or taken advantage of can build up and anger and resentment start to emerge.
Helping our families, friends and community should be a positive thing which comes from a place of love and commitment to the people and causes involved but it’s also important to set boundaries for ourselves and take assertive action before it gets too late. We are reminded every Xmas about giving to others when ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ comes on our screens. This year strangely enough the amateur play rights have become available (there is actually more than one version) and there are various productions due to be performed locally in December.
Sadly, I’ve decided I’m now too old to play the tortured protagonist George Bailey, but I’m sure when I see it, on stage or on screen I’ll be in tears again. In the film (and play scripts) an angel comes down from heaven to save George when he’s contemplating suicide and is able to show him everything he has achieved and the support that he has. In real life of course when one reaches the end of one’s tether, there isn’t a guardian angel to support us, but we do have each other. I have a counsellor and other support reminding me of my own achievements to navigate my way through my own resentments, but others are not as fortunate, so do watch out for them.